Arse Ache

Those two words aren't pretty, but they sum up the present situation succinctly and accurately. I feel the need to post right now because in the past two hours I've experienced the pleasure and the stress that recreational footy can provide.

8-9pm this evening: five versus four footy in North Tonbridge with a random selection of blokes, two of whom played for Dads Army in that game last year; some of whom I barely know, one of whom I'd never laid eyes on until this evening. Final result: no idea, something like 22-12 to the team I was playing on. I even managed to score twice, albeit one of those was well spawny. I started playing Tuesday night 5-a-side kickabout because all I have to do is turn up, give a bloke £3, run about for an hour, then go home. Not "arse ache" - the opposite of arse ache. Blissfully stress-free.

9-10pm: Straight after I'm off the 5-a-side pitch, I phone the oppo 'Gaffer'. Goes to voicemail. Getting a tad stressed as he hasn't replied to my calls or texts apart from one text yesterday which expressed doubts about him putting a team out. Drive home. While driving, inevitably, he calls back. Press button on phone and shout that I'll call him back. Get home. Call him. Find out that he can't get a squad together for Thursday. Call Phil to discuss options (or lack of). Text all the Accies. Email all the Accies.

This post is getting a bit whingy, which wasn't the original intention. If I wanted to whinge, I'd whinge about the fact that, say, Mickael hasn't replied to any of my emails or texts about this week's footy. I guess the only point I really want to make is that if you're an Accie who does on a Thursday night what I normally do on a Tuesday night, think yourself lucky!

The real stress this week, as most weeks when it comes to the Accies, was the difficulty in communication with my contact (seems rude to name her!) at Palace. When she phoned me yesterday I naively assumed it was to finally take some money off me - despite frequent attempts on my behalf, she hasn't been bothered about letting the Accies pay for any of our bookings since March or something ridiculous. Maybe Greenwich Leisure Whatsits are immune to the credit crunch? Of course, she was actually phoning to give me the bad news about the grass pitch. I tried to negotiate this Thursday and maybe even 25th June before they kick us off, so away she went to ask, before phoning me back a while later with a no. So the next task was to figure out what Wednesday night bookings I could make on the astroturf pitch.

You might think the stress ends there - alas, no. She hasn't actually phoned me back to confirm any astroturf bookings or take any money off us. Obviously I'm more than happy for the dosh to sit in the Accies account, but it's mildly preposterous that I don't even know whether we're booked on the pitch tomorrow night, so tomorrow I will try (and fail) to speak to her to cancel a booking that I don't even know has been made yet. Luckily I held back on trying to secure a referee for a game tomorrow night, because even if I'd succeeded I would've had to cancel him too.

Sniff, sob...

I wanted to post this blog entry to give some kind of insight into the aggro of doing something as 'simple' as organising a bit of footy for a few blokes. It hasn't been that stressful really - and having Top Man Phil as an eager assistant has made all the difference over the past few months, and certainly this week. Phil's the fella who will now book Elmers End, which means one less dull phone call for me, for which I am hugely grateful! I'm not after appreciation - I'm secure in the knowledge that most of the Accies have a fair idea of what goes on behind the scenes. I guess I just wanted to type this up so that the blog could have some permanent (unless the internet breaks) record of the Arse Ache aspect of helping to keep the Accies going.

Goodnight and Up The Accies!