He may be AWOL from the Accies*, but at least he's still practising those sitting in a dark room supping lager skills.

*OK, so not actually "AWOL" any more. And he did come down to Palace the other day to watch...Still - always good to keep up to speed on his activities.

This just in: Barry G to swap squad numbers with Spuds?

Accies number 21 Steve Spurdens is easily our most yellow-carded player, so according to the below Opta stat I spotted on Twitter just now, he should take Bazza's number 5 shirt for his own - especially as, to my recollection, Barry has never been booked while playing for the Accies…

OptaJoe Opta Sports

5 - The squad number that has picked up the most yellow cards in the PL this season is number 5 (73), ahead of 4 (67) & 6 (64). Trend.

O(M)G

Thanks to Simon for pointing out this own goal, which is definitely worse than my one in the game before last! And also worse than the one scored by a West Wickham Musician in the last match, which goal Bobby will be disappointed to hear was taken off him by the Dubious Goals Panel… Anyway, enjoy this wonder strike:

When the Accies win a cup, we treat it more carefully than Real Madrid…

Last night's Copa Del Rey win - The Guardian website went with the terrific headline "their cup runneth over"…! There's some good footage here too.

Win Vs Southside XI

Thanks for the match last night. Good to see the Accies returning to form. I probably shouldn't have rested 6 first team players but I need them fresh for the big Southside vs Dynamo Kebab clash on Monday night.

I'll remind our LB of the stats, Dave - and I've told Scott about Steve's bet that Scott won't score next game against Effra - apparently Greg and Neill R have 'worked Scott out'.

I'm away for a couple of weeks but i'll be back on 5th May for the match against.... erm.. Southside.

See you then.

Optabulous

Statattack: with his hat trick last night, less than a third of the way through 2011, this is now already Perre's most potent year in front of goal. He now has a quarter of a century of 11-a-side goals, having scored twice in 2008, 6 times in 2009, 7 times in 2010 and 10 times already this year. As Simon pointed out on the way to Palace last night, Gary White's record of 26 goals in one calendar year is a realistic target for both Perre and Sam, with Perre's three-goal haul obviously boosting his chances of breaking that record…

Win Vs Southside

Great result last night, fellas. Someone remind their left-back of the score and overall head-to-head record.

Keep the home fires burning

Having clocked up another month in exile, I'm beginning to really miss the football culture and all that goes with the Thursday evening at Crystal Palace stadium. There are three things that keep my spirits up:

1) The Accies blog -- its great to read about the team - more match reports please. Seeing poor Joe's ankle sprain made me wince, but, hey, why not play in goal...?

2) ...Spurs 'progress'... it seems that they need another pair of safe hands. I do love 'Arry's we can do it '0-4 from the first leg' attitude.
szólj hozzá: T0-1R

3) I've joined a local team so more news when the first game KO. Last week's game was called off due to rain. I told them I was a centre-forward.

Wolfie.

And you thought Sam's penalty was good!

Well, actually I thought Sam's penalty was one of the best penalties I've ever seen. Let's face it - he SMASHED it into the top of the net. The confidence to hit it that hard and keep it on target was fantastic. Especially as their keeper is decent.

So, yep - a great pen for Sam (which we dedicate to crocked penalty taker Joe Sene), but I think you've been slightly outdone by this one Sam!

One of the Southside lads filmed a bit of last week's game. Here's one of the Effra goals. 

For the sake of editorial balance, click here for a link to the Southside Blog where you'll find one of the Southside goals. Hope to  see you all in the next couple of weeks.

"Sorry Harry, but I'm unavailable for tonight's game"

So this is what a sprained ankle looks like kids!

Rotterdam 2011: Date Confirmed! Spain 2011: Date Unconfirmed!

We will be playing the away leg of the Anglo-Dutch Cup on Saturday 3 September, so if necessary I would advise you to book Friday 2 September off work! Meanwhile, we will hopefully be playing in Spain on Saturday 22 October - to be confirmed.

It remains to be seen when the home leg vs the Dutch will take place – summer or winter is about as much as I can narrow it down right now. Watch this space…

148 Career Accies Goals Between Them

This week I finally got round to presenting ex-Accies strikers Graham Dietz and Oscar Patterson with commemorative Effra shirts featuring their names and former squad numbers. The shirts were purchased way back when, in preparation for one of the aborted 10th anniversary events. Both gents were proper chuffed (as you can see from the photo) to have their very own Accies replica tops, a reminder of the days when they regularly banged them in during 5-a-side and 11-a-side matches. They each managed 74 goals in the various disciplines, totals that were only recently overtaken by Joe Sene, now on 76 career Accies goals. It remains to be seen whether Gza or Osc will ever get goals number 75…

Last week's game… and a step forward

Your Captain Speaks:

A much improved performance by everyone on Thursday. It was great to see such a positive response. A few highlights worth a mention. Firstly, Joe's excellent goal, apparently with his wrong foot. Secondly, Barry and Greg put in another solid performance at the back, which, allied to a resurgent Phil A, mocked the fact that we conceded four goals- dont even get me started on the ref ! I also thought our industry and desire all over the pitch was hugely improved from last week, and we were very unlucky not to get something out of the game against yet another team who were quite clearly, man-for-man, significantly younger and fitter. I hope we can carry this on for the next few games, as they are going to provide a very stiff series of tests.

First up is Sam's Saturday team, which we know is always a tough challenge, although I do feel we might be able to spring a surprise and get something out of the game. Next is another game against Southside. We know what to expect here, and after the last defeat we inflicted on them, I'm sure they will be very focused. We need to be equally determined and remember that there are no easy games, no games where we can afford to be complacent, especially as we have lost one-nil to the two poorest teams we have played this year. Anyway good stuff from last week and lets keep up our levels of effort and intensity.

Up the Accies.

Oh, and a quick apology for the third goal we conceded Thursday. I was totally at fault, giving Tremayne a badly underhit pass that put the back four under pressure and lead directly to the goal ! Sorry !

[Editor's postscript: collective responsibility for goals conceded, Thorny! Besides, I was culpable in letting the goalscorer give me the slip and make too much space for himself in our penalty area, so you definitely can't take total responsibility!]

Do you do extras, Luis?

Two posts in a row referencing the Accies number 6, blimey. I recently took possession of a bundle of Accies photos and videos spanning the past two years or so and I'll bung stuff up from time to time to keep myself and whoever else is paying attention amused. This video stands out from the crowd – Luis giving Luke some late-night TLC in Rotterdam in 2010…

It happens to the best of us, eh Mr Sandoval?

This hilarious clip of Balotelli vs bib reminds me of Luis on a 5-a-side night long ago, having a similar struggle with the garment... Hope this doesn't cause unpleasant flashbacks, Luis!

When Losing Doesn't Feel So Bad

We lost by one goal last Thursday and we lost by two goals last night. But last night's defeat was much easier to swallow than the 1-0 vs Tremayne's mates and the mood after the game and in the pub was virtually indistinguishable from if we’d have won 3-0. Why? Because last night we played like a team, we pulled together exactly as we needed to and tried hard to play the game the way we want to play it. We all seemed to want the ball, we all tried to to do the right things on and off the ball. We all tried harder, but in a more focused, working-as-a-team way, rather than toiling in vain as 11 individuals who happened to be on the same pitch, as happened at times last week.

It wasn’t a perfect performance, of course, far from it – we gifted them a couple of their goals, which made the difference between getting a result and losing. And there were times when we didn’t get close enough to each other to make the short passing game easier, and times as per usual when our short passing was below par. But it was an improvement from the previous week and the feelgood factor was in evidence. There are few more enjoyable things than seeing a well-executed Accies attack, two or three passes, maybe a one-two, some excellent decision making leading to a chance or a half-chance. From my left-back berth I often get a terrific view of these flowing moves (and on rare occasions I’m even involved in them!) and it really is a pleasure to watch. We all love playing football together and when we get it right, it feels amazing, collectively.

No one likes losing, but if we have to lose matches, last night was the way to do it. Hopefully we can improve again next week against Sam’s team and get a result. Stick together, listen to what Thorny says and try our level best not to forget everything we ever learned about football as soon as we cross the white line! Every time we’re together on the pitch we must try to do the right things and help each other from whistle to whistle.

We’re finally playing regularly against teams at a similar level of competence to ourselves, which is giving us the chance to enjoy our football more than ever before. Long may that continue. And if you'd offered me "goals scored: 24, goals conceded: 21" after 11 games, I'd have snapped your hand off. Up the Accies!

Last week's game… and a few steps backwards

Posting on behalf of Captain Andrew Thornes. Usually I get a chance to tidy up/edit Andy's posts but no such luck on this occasion, so this is straight from our leader's mind!

I would hope everybody invovlved with last weeks game was as disappointed as I was, both with the result and the performance. Before getting into some of the issues raised by the game i would like to single a few players out for praise. Firstly, I thought Barry's willingness to go in goal and sacrifice himself for the team shouldn't go unheralded. He made several key blocks and saves and i thought it was typically unselfish of him to offer to go in goal bearing in mind the difficulties he had during his last outing between the sticks. Great character ! Many will point to his mistake on the goal but its worth pointing out that we should have score six or seven, which would have made the goal irrelevant. Secondly, and for the fourth or fifth week in a row, I thought Greg was excellent , both defensively and with his distribution out of defence. I also thought both Steve and Joe spent the evening trying to do all the right things, often being undermined by play that didn't buy into our game plan of 'pass and move'. This brings me rather neatly onto the issue of our game plan, or rather, our seeming lack of it.

Since taking over the role of nominal coach I have tried to keep things simple and slowly introduce three basic principles that will make us a much more effective team, hopefully also giving us better results and greater enjoyment. In case anybody is in any doubt as to what these are I am going to briefly outline them again.

The first thing that I thought needed to be put right was our communication on the field. By and large, and with the exception of the last few weeks, I have felt we have made great, positive strides forward in this area. Our talking is simple, constructive and for the most part effective, giving us the right platform to play decent, attacking football. On Thursday we appeared to forget the lessons we have fought hard to learn. Our talking was poor and most of its was negative, as we either bickered or criticised our own team mates or, as the game wore on, the oppostion. This is something we have to sort out immediately. Fortunately it's very simple to do, especially as we have been so much better in this regard for most of the year.

I then tried to introduce us to simple 'pass and move' football, rather than the incoherent 'kick and rush', 'park' football that had apparently become our default style, Neill and Simon's efforts not withstanding. At times this year we have employed this method with devastating effects. The last few weeks has seen a depressingly familar selfishness creeping back into our play, which culminated in our abject performance on Thursday. We need to be very clear that if players want to take eight or nine touches, refuse an easy pass or not stick to the position you have been asked to play it will be a long, cold evening on the bench. I can promise this is not an idle threat, as I am deeply committed to being fair to everyone in the club and this type of play brings down the level of the whole team for the cause of greedy, selfish individualism. The game is really simple- find space, receive the ball, control it, look up, pass the ball and move into space again. We may not win every game playing like this, as there are always players and teams more skillful, physically fitter or better organised, but we will be A TEAM ! I am not prepared to see a majority of hardworking, talented footballers made to seem like 'mugs' against far inferior opposition again. Anyway, the positive side of all this is that I truly believe everyone in the squad is crucial and can make a valuable contribution to the team, so we all start with a blank slate this week and hopefully a clear idea in our heads of how we can all improve.

The third change in the Accies overall approach to the game i have tried to introduce is to make us more compact, and therefore harder to break down defensively. This we have tried to do by dropping into a default postion of two banks of four situated in our own half, with two strikers hovering around the half way line once we lose possession. On Thursday this was not really an issue, as the opposition really didn't have any meaningful attempts on goal except for Tremayne's speculative, miss-hit cross ! This aspect of the game becomes very easy to implement if communication and a 'pass and move' attitude are in place, so i wont dwell on this element of Thursday's game.

Anyway, there we have it. By Thursday the cartoon steam will have hopefully stopped rushing from my ears and we can get back to playing real, committed football. For myself i can't wait for Thursday to come round and get last weeks horror show out of my system. So let's be positive, as we have played some great stuff this year. We just need to get back to the mentality we had in December, January and most of February. Turn up, enjoy seeing friends old and new, play as a team, giving everything for each other on the field and then, possibly, a beer or two afterwards in good company. Maybe I am a bit simple but that seems to me like a recipe for enjoyment..............

Up the Accies.

Shame Game

Disappointing result and disappointing performance if all aspects taken into consideration, last night's game undermined some the superb progress we had made since the turn of the year.

After several good performances, some while under pressure, we came undone at the seams last night in a game we were warned by Thorney not to take for granted. Players were guilty of over playing all over the park and the quick incisive passing that has become a feature of our play was inexplicably missing in action.

This is not to say that the result was beyond our control as we were also guilty of missing several oppurtunities to score none more so than myself early in first half when played through by Sam. We were undone by a speculative cross-shot by Tremayne which caught Barry out after it finally left orbit and fell to earth....

Hopefully this defeat will concentrate the efforts of everyone to return to playing the way we know we can as a team for each other

Up the Accies!

It Will Find You Wherever You Hide.......

Poor old Graeme, moves to the other side of the planet and yet cannot escape the curse of the Accies left backs.......seems Stuart's power know no bounds when dictating when and where the curse will strike and lets face it Wolfie's no threat while in Oz is he?????..........Let him be Big Daddy Bear he's suffered enough!!

It only takes 1,204,200 seconds to score a goal*

*If your name is Stuart Dade, that is. This chart shows the goals-per-outfield games ratios for anyone who's played 5 or more times for the Accies. (Top of the actual chart is John Lizou, who scored 5 goals in 1 match - actually in half a match, but I digress…) The reason these figures have never been available before is I had to discount the 282 (so far) goalkeeping appearances, which skew the scoring stats of Dave Rudd, Phil Caldwell and Neill Robertshaw to name but three. For example, Dave's games-per-goal without taking into consideration his 29 matches as keeper would be 7.782609, but factor those in and the stat changes to 6.52173913. Still awake? The chart obviously takes no consideration of minutes on the pitch or, say, time spent stuck at Centre Back rather than as Striker.

One for the Spurs fans among the squad…

Apparently this is footage of an Italian version of Sky Sports' Gillette Soccer Special. We get the likes of Paul Merson and Phil Thompson watching our matches; Italian viewers get a man apparently on the edge of a nervous breakdown. The reaction of the Italian version of Jeff Stelling is a delight. Go straight to 4 mins 40 secs for maximum fun.

More Stats That Prove Very Little But Do Seem To Be Taking My Mind Off The Pain

Goal difference after ten 11-a-side matches per calendar year:

2002: -16

2003: -6

2004: -22

2005: -3

2006: -26

2007: 0

2008: -3

2009: -25

2010: -10

2011: TBC

"Interestingly", after 7 games in 2008 our goal difference was +12, but we promptly lost the next fixture 11-1 and balance was restored to the universe. We're currently on +8 after 7 games in 2011. Defending from the front: gotta love it.

Particularly Violent Statattack

In my defence, I am heinously ill and massively sleep-deprived.

Brisbane times and other football related stuff

Report #1
Its just over six weeks since I left the green and pleasant land and set foot on red Queensland soil. Its just as long since I even kicked a ball or watched a footy game. This is the first of my international reports for the Accies blog.

Floods and cyclones
Sod's law - we arrived in time to be evacuated from our house as the suburb we stayed in bore the brunt of the floods that blighted the state. We waded through water, were temporarily cut off on an island surrounded by drain water, and scaled a railroad track to escape. On return, the local shopping mall, including two liquor outlets, had been destroyed, with no date set for their reopening. I persuaded my wife and son to leave for higher ground [and beer].

I want to set the record straight. Contrary to reports on the BBC News website, there were no sharks swimming the flooded streets, but there were snakes, spiders [large] and lizards - not to mention other insect like things that seemed to move rather too fast.

No football
Most of the inner city sports fields were flooded by the waters. Apparently football is the most played sport in Australia - though not the most watched, if you get what I mean. The local team are called Brisbane Roar - and they play in the colours of Blackpool crossed with Hull. Lets hope they are better....hmmm...me thinks not.

Don't mention cricket
I was under strict orders not to mention cricket. But the cab driver who picked us up from the airport insisted on driving us past the Gabba. I politely said that the Aussies were unlucky in their quest to regain the Ashes - I tried to explain helpfully that it was a similar tale with England's bid to win the Football World Cup - such victory was based on the mistaken assumption that the team were any good in the first place. Oh dear. And on abandoning our house with the flood waters looming, a local said:'this year is a disaster: first we lose the Ashes; then we lose our house.' After he told me he was leaving to the evacuation centre, I consoled him by saying: 'Lets hope its not as bad as Katrina!'....Doh!

Don't insult the locals
Fell out with a few locals when I stupidly said that you would have to pay me to drink Castlemaine 4X -- the local brewery is iconic and when it was surrounded with flood water -- the company announced they had taken precautions and shipping millions of bottles to higher ground. Great if you like river water with a fizz [at 2.5% alcohol it rivals CBLabel for breaking trade description laws ]

They do things differently here
We've been told this is Queensland - much like Yorkshire. But people here have a knowledge of where Crystal Palace, Peckham and Brixton are in London. Where is Yorkshire?

They do things differently in Tottenham
Of course, I miss football. Wearing my WHUFC shirt around the city - with toots of horns and admiring looks from Latin Americans [no doubt because the Boleyn Ground is where Carlos Tevez learnt to play football], I miss the rivalries and the banter of the post-match drink, though I'll review missing the Paxton Arms. So I couldn't resist including an image of Tottenham's last ditch [failed] attempt to get the Olympic Stadium.




G'day to you all! Wolfie.