2009 - The end......

At the end of this year as coach I am very impressed by how the team has responded throughout the year to bring around a fantastic second half to the year and all should be proud of their contributions througout the year.

I would like to thank each and every one of the players for their application and effort over the past twelve months.

On a more personal level, I would like to thank Stuart and Phil for all their assistance this year over a broad spectrum of issues, a special mention to 'Magic Hands' Mesner for all his off field help regarding not just my two injuries but to the other players hampered this year. Being coach for the Accies has been a roller coaster of a ride as trying to keep all players happy while trying to get results is almost as political as it is sports related and hopefully this can be addressed for future years so the coach can concentrate on the football, for anyone who feels that they were misused I can only apologise profusely......

Hopefully the way we ended the year can be taken forward for next year so go easy on the Turkey and hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

Very Sporting Behaviour (and very unsporting behaviour in the boozer afterwards!)

After my night in a hotel filled with trained killers (possibly), I've arrived at work at 8.30am.  There's a giant pile of work but I've decided to bash out a quick blog post about last night.  Firstly, a huge thank-you to new Effra no 24 Sam Herbert, who on the night he was presented with his shiny new Accies kit, couldn't wear it and had to cobble together a team to play against us instead.  Seven swans a-swimming, sorry I mean Sporting Brixton players, turned out, and were joined by Joe, Joe's mate and Joe's brother. I had the dubious honour of playing in goal for SB, with Elbows replacing me between the sticks for the 2nd half. TBALT and Greg had outfield stints for SB during the match when injury depleted the whites' ranks.  Anyway, as I say, cheers to Sam for ensuring that we were able to end 2009 with a proper game!  Sam wants at least a month's notice for a future fixture date, but I think 48 hours is more than sufficient...

Lots to say about the match so I'll try to cram as much as I can remember into this paragraph. As we left the dressing room the predicted snow blizzard had started, giving the game a suitably Xmassy feel. An early lead for the Accies as Perre marauded down the right and squared past the hapless me at the request of Lex Luthor, who slotted home from several centimetres.  Incidentally, Thorny tells me he has never looked at this blog, so I might as well take this opportunity so say I can't stand the bloke and his goals this year – the one I just described was his 12th – were all rubbish and undeserved.  Hang yer boots up, Lex.  Then a mini-collapse for Effra, with SB passing neatly around the red'n'blues and scoring twice to lead 2-1.  After that I scrambled to tip over a Sene lob, only to flap shambolically at his corner, allowing Shaky to head firmly in for 2-2.  By this time the snow was extremely heavy and visibility was atrocious, but fortunately the weather mostly cleared in the 2nd half.  Before the 1st half ended Mike endured a couple of close-range misses that he won't thank me for describing, so I won't.  We soaked up some pressure, before eventually created a couple of chances of our own, one of which was a lovely ball from Lex putting Shaky through to make it 3-2.  How apt that the year's two highest scorers, with 14 and 12 respectively, should score all our goals in this match and combine for what proved to be the winner here.  A truly outstanding contribution in front of goal.

Sporting Brixton put us under pressure for most of the remainder of the match, ending the game with 4 strikers, but we held firm. Joe can count himself unlucky to have been judged offside when clean through on goal – it was a borderline decision which thankfully went our way, making it two weeks in a row that the youngster has been unfortunate not to score against us (erm, assuming he didn't get either of the 2 SB goals?  I was in goal at the other end so I haven't a clue who scored!).  Coach09, in goal in Lee's absence, made a stunning save towards the end – a fierce shot from the edge of the area seemed to swirl in the snow and wind and was going top corner until Neill parried it away for a corner.  World class.

The match was also notable for the return of Miami Dade at right-back after five months injured.  It's great to have two Dades on the pitch again – huge respect to my bruv for the support and commitment he's shown to the Accies while crocked, and welcome back – all were agreed after the match that he played well on his return.

Finally, there was a remarkable post-match fist fight in the Paxton, not involving any Accies of course.  We watched, stunned, as a drunken women screamed and shouted: "I didn't sleep with him," which of course, in the world of celebrity magazines that I will return to momentarily, translates as: "I slept with him several times and I think I might be pregnant."  An ugly brawl ensued. Full marks to Paxton Neil for wading in and Paxton Stuart for ejecting at least one bloodied fella – although as Shaky and myself were leaving, the same bloodied bloke was going back into the pub, so goodness knows what happened next.  All that remained for me was another very happy train journey with Shaky followed by a night and full English breakfast here on expenses for me.  Happy days indeed.

I'll save a stat-heavy review of the year for another post in due course, but suffice to say it's been a vintage Accies 12 months, with far more ups than downs!  Roll on 2010...

Best/worst injuries ever, AKA the story of my right leg

Forget about heroic stories like My Left Foot (I was thinking of Alan Devonshire and not Christy Brown). The story of My Right Leg sends shivers down the spine of NHS workers and the UK taxpayer. And I am not talking about my well rehearsed and embellished story about when my right leg snapped into several pieces on a cold autumn morning a few years ago and the medics tried to drag me into the back of the ambulance. Or how the doctors described it as a jigsaw puzzle as they sipped tea. Not this time luckily for you. My friends and colleagues will tell you they are sick to death of that one (especially after buying me several pints at first in sympathy and I managed to wangle free taxi rides around long as well as an NHS chauffeur).

Nor am I going to tell you the story of how a piece of titanium lodged itself in my knee joint making it impossible to straighten my right leg. The scars tell that story. And I am not going to tell you the incredible-but-true story of a crazy woman who drove me down on purpose one morning in her flashy sports car, ramming my right knee with a ton of metal then taking off as quickly as it happened. No. That’s too sad and disturbing. This story is about my most recent injury, one that will make you very scared, and I hope, will earn me many pints of beer as well as clear a space down the left wing for me to run and score (luckily I’m left footed so no worries there about self-inflicted pain).

Having returned from a recent work trip abroad to the tropics, several red and swollen sores appeared on my feet, but most prominently my right foot. These were not ordinary sores – they seeped, bled and seeped more, and did lots of other things as well as bloody hurt! After a week of hobbling around in London, the missus finally ordered me to go to the doctor and get some penicillin. That I did, and after almost completing the course of treatment, things looked better. That was, until I received a call from several government officials. Christ, this was not some ordinary phone call. This was big – they told me they knew my name. Even at the hospital, people made way for me – I was fast-tracked. No waiting. Straight there, door open. Come inside Sir.

Not only did I have some infection, but this was unusual. My movements were to be curtailed. Security screens placed around me, escorts (not Russian) in and out of hospitals. A ring of steel placed around me, (actually a bandage) and under no circumstances, was I to reveal my bare foot in public. Deadly spores, I was told. A matter of national security.

Damn! Forget Thursday night then. There goes my Christmas run-out and drinking run-in. Sit at home and listen to the radio and watch the rain and snow instead. Balls.

Apparently the spores from my foot could infect people, bring down the team, not to mention ruin Christmas for my neighbours and friends. Burn everything, that’s what they said: burn my socks, my sheets and my shoes – yes, even my own shoes. Hell, no: what about my football boots? They couldn’t…
Well, one day later and another prescription, the prognosis is looking better. I’ll be able to make my return in the New Year now that the microbiologist just informed me I’ll probably see it arrive. Thank god for that!

From the archives

While we wait for photos from the recent end-of-year awards meal to surface (one snapper has promised to post some here in January), here are 3 pics from the equivalent event in Dec 2006. Dave shows off a crisp £20 won in Miami's Xmas Quiz; Elbows shows off the pedigree that led to him being crowned 2009's Most Improved Player; and assorted guests natter. Where does the time go?

The Acciiiiiiiiiiiies*

Just sorting through a load of old photos because I just bought a new camera and need to make sure I'm not overwhelmed by the inevitable influx of new pics... Came across this one that I took in May 2006, I think from a pizza leaflet that had come through the letterbox. He's wearing a retro Accies kit, the one before the one we wear now, but it's irrefutable proof that Homer Simpson is the first (and only?) celebrity Accies fan. Mighty.

*Sung to the tune of "The Simpsons"...!

Ever seen a prolapsed bag? You have now...

So, after years of being carted along to Thursday night footy - here it is. Photographic evidence of the demise of Stu's huge bag which died of a prolapsed pocket.

After a small family ceremony, Stu's bag was placed in the bin in the corner of the changing room down at Palace.

Horrifically, just a week later the decaying corpse of the old friend was spotted slung in the corridor on a pile of sand; suspicious asbestos-like material and mud.

So, to Stu's over sized 'actually-a-tennis-bag-and-used-mostly-back-in-the-day-for-carting-eight-cans-of-train-beer-to-the-2302-to-London-Bridge-although-admittedly-also-for-spare-kit': R.I.P

Hot news: Andrew 'Miami' Dade cleared to play in Thursday's match

After just over 5 months on the sidelines following a knee cartilage tear sustained in the game of the year (although I doubt he rates it as his game of the year) v MHP on 9th July in Tottenham, Andrew 'Miami' Dade has passed a fitness this morning at a top central London clinic and has been passed fit to play at least some part of Thursday's game, if selected of course.

The specialist said, 'The knee is now healed and he is clear to start playing again. He has some work to do on his fitness and match hardness but otherwise his rehabilitation period is complete'.

Of course the hard work is not over as Miami has seen, mainly through a view finder, Phil 'Elbows' Caldwell play superbly at right back over the second half of the year. Or will he be looking to displace his brother at left back? A few things for Coach Robertshaw to chew on over the coming weeks...

Effra 3, MHP 1.

Another great performance from Miami behind the  camera. The quality of his work has benefitted from a good long run of games on the sidelines. He's really made this position his own.

Neill was correct  when he said at half time that we'd made mistakes and that we hadn't kept our shape. Still, it was 1-1 and we were playing a team who had beaten us in each of our 4 previous meetings, so not all bad then. These days we still make lots of mistakes but we're doing more right than wrong.

In the second half we played really well.  Mickael  soon gave us a lead with a well deserved goal. Stu cleared off the line in heroic fashion and then MOTM Joe put the game out of sight with  a quality finish late on. 

No Thorney! No!!

I was shocked to discover this evidence of Thorney driving a coach and horses through FIFA fair play  regulations and through the Governments's infection control guidance.

We're in the middle of a swine flu pandemic for heaven's sake Thorney.

Technical hitch

Quick note to apologise for not yet posting this week's highlight's video. 

Don't know why but  i keep getting an error message when i try to upload films to Blogspot.

On the plus side , the film is quite good , featuring as it does 3 Accies goals, Mickael's reprise of Charlie George's famous FA Cup celebration, and you even get a glimpse of of BigNeilfromthePaxtonsmateJoe almost scoring for MHP.

Normal service will be  restored shortly... probably.

A Star is Born?

And there was in the same country a mate of big Neil from The Paxton abiding near the field, keeping watch over the floodlights by night every Thursday. And, lo, the angel of the Accies came upon him, and the glory of the Accies shone round about him: and he was sore afraid: And the Accies said unto him, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city London your Saviour, which is the Effra Academicals. And the floodlights you see on every Thursday shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the Accies wrapped in red 'n' clothes, listening to a manager. And suddenly there was with big Neil's 16 year old mate Joe, a multitude of the heavenly Accies praising Thursday night footy, and saying, Glory to The Accies in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Phil Caldwell tribute

Another good game, another good all round team performance and another good result. Especially as we hadn't beaten MHP before.

However special mention goes to Phil C. The first time we played MHP, his work team, Phil had to take his place between the sticks (no Anthony, Dave or Neill R that night and it was before Lee's time), which I'm sure isn't his favourite position. It was a 4-6 defeat (a bitter sweet game for me, 1 goal and 2 assists before going over on my ankle and 3 months out). We have then lost 0-1 and 1-2 before another goal fest this time on White Hart Lane, loosing 4-5 (although that game seems to have been the catalyst for a really good long term run).

Phil told me that tonight's 'keeper ribs him at work the next day (and even in management meetings!) each time MHP have beaten us. So what better way to be able to walk into work tomorrow than after a good game and a lovely side footed finish past the said goalie to set us on our way.

Well played all but especially well played Phil. I hope the goal is etched on a chip somewhere and will soon be playing on a loop over and over again at your work place in front of the cheeky 'keeper strapped to a chair and eye lids clamped back in Clockwork orange stylie.

Accies Awards 2009

OK, for The Hut who is in Brazil staring at the blog, refreshing in the hope someone bungs these on here. I'll leave it to Stu to edit and fill in the blanks that I can't remember!

Most Improved Player
1st Phil Caldwell
2nd Neil Gardener
3rd Luis Sandoval

Defender Of The Year
1st Neil Gardener
2nd Lee Clifford
3rd Phil Caldwell & Barry Gardener

Midfielder Of The Year
1st Andy Thornes
2nd Joe Sene
3rs Steve Spurdens

Forward Of The Year
1st Simon Mesner
2nd Bobby Rauchenberg
3rd Perre Heath

Player Of The Year
1st Andy Thornes
2nd Neil Gardener
3rd Phil Caldwell

Players' Player Of The Year - Andy Thornes

Game Of The Year - The one in Tottenham we lost and I got fucking injured in. MHP on 9th July...

Goal Of The Year - That long looping header from Thorney

Club Man Of The Year - Phil Caldwell

Pop, counting his ill gotten gains...

AKA Luis AKA The Beast working out the bill following the Accies Awards Dinner 2009. "One for the restaurant, two for me, one for the restaurant, two for me..."

Comedy quotes...

Ahead of Blackpool V Middlesbrough tonight, a website has listed ten of the funniest quotes from respective managers Ian Holloway and Gordon Strachan. These are the highlights:

Ian Holloway

'Apparently it's my fault that the Titanic sank.'
On criticism from Plymouth Argyle fans.

Reporter: Are you enjoying your time in Blackpool, Ian?
Holoway: I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark.

'I have such bad luck at the moment that if I fell in a barrel of boobs I'd come out sucking my thumb.'

Gordon Strachan

'If a Frenchman goes on about seagulls, trawlers and sardines, he’s called a philosopher. I’d just be called a short Scottish bum talking crap.'
Gordon Strachan in response to Cantona's famous seagulls quote.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there.

A few thanks etc.....

Just a brief post regarding the awards celebration...

Firstly, congratulations to all the winners and nominated players in all categories all well deserved, but on personal note if I could have mentioned every single player I would have for all the effort they have given over this past year.

I would also like to thank Luis for organising the awards, Andy Dade for remembering the trophies and also Andrea for finding the results sheet and saving the evening. Obvious thanks to Phil and Stuart for everything this year, what would we do without them? Special thanks to Simon for his eloquent and informative assistance and for stepping into Gary's shoes to pass on the award for player's player of year.

Only the Golden boot to be sorted so still fun to be had and hopefully a good solid finish to a very exiciting year.

Up the ACCIES

Love it!

My favourite moment*  from a really enjoyable night's football.(*the goal, not the injury)

Well taken goal from MOTM Luis Sandoval, crowning a good night's work for the whole team.

Can't help feeling sorry for the Oppo's keeper who left Palace in an ambulance with a dislocated shoulder. Hope he's better soon. The game was played in a great spirit and i'm sure we'll all look forward to a re-match against MRC Ewell in 2010.

Match report.

  Despite falling behind to two first half goals, Effra were never outplayed by the much younger MRC Ewell side. Effra retained a quiet confidence that they could  rescue the game.Everyone played well. Tremayne, on his return from a long injury layoff, slotted in seemlessly at fullback. No one panicked. No one said anything negative. No one let their head drop. Everyone concentrated on playing neat, simple, passing  football. It worked. Let's not forget this lesson.

 Sam with a long range shot and Mes with beautifully struck shot from a sublime Sene through ball, levelled the scores. At 2-2,  MRC Ewell seemed there for the taking , but a goal against the run of play restored their lead. Luis' equaliser  will remain long in the memory, as will the enjoyment of a night when everyone set their ego's to one side and played for their teammates.

Home Comforts

One of the joys of watching Charlton this season has been the chance to visit strange and exotic locations, such as Yeovil, Hartlepool,Carlisle etc. Sadly, so far my only trip has been to take in Brighton's temporary home at the Withdean Stadium. If I tell you that on every Thursday night we play in a stadium far superior to a professional, League 1 team, who only 25 years ago should've won the FA cup, for me, it makes all those rainy, windy nights worthwile!